I felt the best place for a golf magazine to start was in the home of golf – wash your mouth out if you said The Netherlands... The six-night, seven-day Scottish Highlander's Golf Cruise travels between Dochgarroch and Banavie – in different directions in alternate weeks. And you'll be relieved to know it does include some whisky tasting. Not surprisingly, such splendour – the barge is described in the pamphlet as an "exclusive boutique hotel-on-the-water" and it's hard to argue with the assertion – amid a historic setting proves immensely popular with our cousins across the Atlantic, so if you're not in a party chartering the whole vessel you may find yourself teeing up alongside an 18-stone guy in capacious shorts and a loud shirt. But as I'm an 18-stone guy in capacious shorts and a loud shirt it didn't bother me.

The first full day of the cruise – you board the Scottish Highlander on Sunday afternoon – saw us teeing off at Royal Dornoch before returning to the barge for a cruise to Fort Augustus, passing Urquhart Castle. Originally designed by Old Tom Morris, the Royal Dornoch links is often cited as one of the best golf venues anywhere in the world. It is not long by modern standards – at 6,276 yards or 6,514 yards off the championship tees – but its subtly undulating greens will prove a tough test for any golfer. The following day we were given a packed lunch and travelled by car to play the championship course at Nairn. It was just like being waved off by our mums back in the days when we used to wear shorts without worrying about our legs – only the lunch was significantly nicer and Nairn Golf Course is a lot more awe inspiring than Miss Murray, my former class teacher.

Nairn has played host to many professional and top amateur events and therefore would probably not have looked too kindly on my efforts on what is arguably Scotland's driest and windiest golf course, located as it is adjacent to the North Sea. A par-72, 6,705-yard course, it again provides a tough test – as did Miss Murray if memory serves correctly. Wednesday's round was played in the afternoon at Fort Augustus, allowing time in the morning for a bit of sight-seeing in the village – ideal if you have a penchant for antique of craft shops, but Ikea addicts need not apply.

There is also the opportunity to visit the Caledonian Canal Heritage Centre. The 29-lock Caledonian Canal – one of Scotland's greatest 19th century engineering achievements – is more than 60 miles long, including as it does three connected lochs: Loch Ness, Loch Oich and Loch Lochy. Fort Augustus and Great Glen. Fortunately Fort Augustus' golf course is considerably shorter at just 5,454 yards and comprises nine holes and 18 tees in a challenging canalside setting. A thinned approach shot and you might find yourself in the soup, literally, as dinner is served back on board the Scottish Highlander as it cruises to its overnight mooring at Cullochy Lock.

Thursday was a rest day as far the golf was concerned but there is still plenty to occupy you providing you've finished totting up the shot count for the previous three days. We enjoyed a morning cruise along the tree-lined canal and across Loch Lochy, amid some stunning scenery, before mooring at the pretty hamlet of Gairlochy. I have to be honest and say I eschewed the available visit to the Spean Bridge Woollen Mill – offering "traditional knitwear and tweeds" – in favour of resting the aging limbs and saving myself for the subsequent tasting at the Glen Nevis Whisky Distillery. It's a dirty job but some poor journalist had to do it.

The final full day of the cruise saw us traversing – does one traverse a lock? – Neptune's Staircase, another remarkable piece of engineering which elevates vessels 64 feet above sea-level through a series of eight locks. After an on-board lunch we headed off to Newtonmore for an afternoon tee time. Thankfully, given the previous on-course exertions and the accessibility of whisky, Newtonmore is a comparatively flat, easy walking, parkland course – a par-70, 6,041-yard effort dating from 1893 – nestling appealingly amid the Monadhliath and Grampian Mountains and on the banks of the River Spey. The transfer back to the barge allowed just enough time for me to dig out my copy of How to Break 100 from the bottom of my golf bag as I once again discovered flat does not necessarily equal "easy".

Back on board the Scottish Highlander we enjoyed (another) wee dram with a local piper before the captain's farewell dinner. Do you know, every piper I've ever met claims to have played on Paul McCartney's 1977 massive hit Mull of Kintyre. Anybody would think I was a tourist or something... The following morning, after a hearty breakfast sans whisky, we bade a fond farewell at Fort William to our captain and to the barge which had been our home for six nights. It had been more than just a home; it had been an exclusive restaurant where the master chef prepared for us delightful Scottish fare – including venison, Angus beef and seafood dishes – and a local snug bar where we discussed the one that lipped out and sampled even more whisky. It also had a well-stocked wine cellar – a cellar on a barge? – which thankfully held a plethora of whiskies The fully staffed Scottish Highlander afforded the sort of luxury of which the bargemen of a couple of hundred years ago could never have dreamt. All it didn't do was improve my golf game. But I'll happily swap that for the memories of this trip.

PARADISE CONNECTIONS YACHT CHARTERS
Your Barging Specialists
www.BargeCharters.com